GIR

Every Invader in the Irken space armada is given a SIR (Standard-issue Information Retrieval) unit, a short humanoid robot that follows commands and assists them in their task to conquer their assigned planet. However, when Invader Zim asked to be assigned his planet, the Almighty Tallest (who hate him very much) decided to give him a SIR unit made of trash and with a brain made of stuff found at the bottom of a pocket. This unit was called GIR. Nobody knows what the G stands for.

Offensive Capabilities

• Has many weapons in his head. (source) (S)
• Explodes a large skull with eye lasers. (source) (S)
• Breaks a concrete floor with eye lasers. (source) (S)
• Eye lasers shoot through bookshelves. (source) (S)
• Drops explosives that demolish and send a squadron of police cars flying. (source) (C)
• Sets a table on fire and scorches a pig taking off. (source) (S)
• Launches a sandwich hard enough to send Dib flying across the street and through a brick wall. (source) (S)
• Loads his mouth with cookies and sends them flying into the distance. (source) (C)
• Launches a poodle into space, or at least claims to. (source) (C)
• Animated version of launching a poodle into space. (source) (F)
• Sends a man flying far away. (source) (C)
• Blows a giant hole in a thick, concrete wall. (source) (C)

Strength

• Easily lifts and carries a large AC plug that craters the concrete upon being tugged. (source) (S)
• Jumps through a wall with said plug. (source) (S)
• Throws a police car through the house’s walls. (source) (S)
• Drags a large containment pod through dirt, pavement, and a wire fence. (source) (C)
• Throws an alien through a window. (source) (C)
• Lifts the back end of a damaged weenie-mobile. (source) (C)

Speed

• Runs up along a wall and curved ceiling. (source) (S)
• Jumps up to the top of a 10 foot tall pig. (source) (S)
• Outruns several missiles. (source) (S)
• Jumps from Zim piloting Mars to Dib piloting Mercury in a second. (source) (S)
• Runs out, restrains a police officer with his own seat belt and throws the police car through a wall in a second. (source) (S)
• Spins welding torches in his hands fast enough to practically turn them into superhot sawblades. (source) (C)
• Runs fast enough to keep up with a speeding weenie-mobile. (source) (C)
• Fast enough to escape from chasing police vehicles. (source) (C)
• Moves fast enough to leave a trail of flame. (source) (F)
• Flies fast enough to kick up debris in his wake. (source) (S)

Durability

• Falls from the ceiling. (source) (S)
• Falls from near the top of a skyscraper into a dumpster. (source) (S)
• Crashes from above skyscrapers through a building’s roof while on top of Zim’s spaceship’s carrier. (source) (S)
• Hit by a massive explosion and blown back into a door hard enough to crack it. (source) (S)
• Blown back into a door hard enough to crack it from a massive explosion. (source) (S)
• Shot by Tak’s ship’s energy weapons (which had just previously torn apart Zim’s ship), crashes through a metal wall, and is slightly wrecked but seemingly still functional. (source) (C)
• Hit by a mid-flight passenger plane. (source) (C)
• Takes a glancing blow from a blast that demolishes a large chunk of stone. (source) (F)
• Doesn’t mind being stabbed in the face. (source) (C)
• Takes the hit of a steel girder hitting the ground hard enough to crack concrete for several feet, and the only damage is his head detaching. (source) (C)
• Isn’t bothered by the friction of piloting Mars into Earth’s atmosphere. (source) (S)
• Stands and rolls around in lava without seeming serious damage. (source) (C)

Systems and Physiology

• Is magnetic. (source) (S)
• Spins his body independently of his head, and can even move without it. (source) (S)
• Loses his arm and then gets a new one. (source) (S)
• Can keep many, many stuffed pigs in his head. (source) (S)
• Can switch to X-Ray vision, allowing him to see through solid objects. (source) (S)
• Able to spot Dib while using a cloaking suit to become invisible. (source) (S)
• Translates a series of alien hieroglyphs. (source) (C)
• Has anchor tendrils that hold him against an industrial fan on max. (source) (C)
• Able to communicate with and control Zim’s ship. (source) (C)

Stupidity

• When hooked up to a power amplifier, creates a field of stupidity that causes those within it to become so braindead as to be incapable of speech. (source) (S)
• Somehow explodes a space gift shop by microwaving a burrito really badly. (source) (C)
• Destroys a space ship when his brain is hooked up to a thought-viewing device. Twice. (source) (C)